Sooooo I'm still sick... nag nag. But I'm still up and about. Meeting friends. Oh I'm at my parents by the way. I think I have forgot to mention that hmm. Oh well. I'll see if I can cut together a video soon (I have three filmed but I don't know if they are ok), without having a BF. BITCH FIT.
No but seriously, I will probably break down in tears if it doesn't work or overwork it.
I clean a lot now too. I get stuck in it. I see more and more that must get tidied up. I can't stop unless someone makes me stop. Yesterday Roberto had to force me to eat because I was crazy hungry but could not stop.
I was away in our room here at my parent's (we're at my parent's) for over an hour, cleaning. It felt like 10 minutes tops. I was going there to change clothes but I thought I could tidy up our stuff. Then I saw the bookshelf and I put all the books in place. Child books from tall to shoort, magazines tall to short etc. I also found boxes I had to fix and the kitchen later when I was going to make something to eat.
Ugh. It feels like I'm just getting more and more problems. BUT!!!!!!!!! I'm a lot hapoier now than I used to be. But I also get more upset than before and my panic attacks are worse. Or they are back and worse than before. I have bruises on my legs from my last one. I was on the floor kicking my legs on the stone floor.
Bah. I hope it's ok that I'm writing about this. It helps me to get shit out of my system this way. I can also go back and read my posts about this whenever I need to as long as I have internet. So I can forget my notes at home when I go to my doctor and still have my notes online. Yaaay.
I'm going to get ready for this day now. I just pulled out my extensions so that feels a bit shit. My skin is quite bad too. So I don't feel pretty (mainly my skin) but I'm calm and pretty happy.
I tried to photograph my skin and legs. It doesn't show my bruises too much. I usually don't get these kinds of bruses so the one I have is huge for beeing me.
I hope you're having a much better time than I am :)