Investigation day 3

Sorry for the delay on this one. I was having my third meeting last Monday. At first when I got there we talked a little, I had four almost fully filled A4 that I had written with information. She wrote down somethings that I said that I had forgot to write down or mention before. I don't remember what it was, but it was significant to the investigation. She also brought me some tea, yum!

After a while we started with the test/exercises. Uhm... I don't remember exactly in what order we did everything but I'll try to remember best I can. I think we started with her saying numbers, for example 1 - 2 - 3 and then I was going to repeat them. After that she read more numbers but this time I was going to repeat them backwards. I did not like this exercise, my brain shut off and I couldn't really feel my body after a few numbers in. It felt like I was floating and I could not focus on what she was saying. I ten got to look at pictures, it was very similar to those kind of IQ test pictures you can do online for free. You have a set of boxes with symbols/pictures in them and one is missing, then you have a few symbols/pictures underneath and you are going to say which one is the missing one. I usually do really good at those but I don't think I did that great on this one. She said I did, but I don't know, if I had more than 2 wrong I'd say that was really bad. Another exercise we did was building a story. She pulled out some cards with pictures at random and I were to put them in the right order. Some of them were quite hard, or haha, I think it's hard when I don't get it right in 1 second. I didn't have trouble with it but still. I then got to do even another repeating numbers exercises, but this time it was with letters too. If she said 3 - 2 - b - a I was going to repeat them back in order, 2 -3 - a - b. It was the same with that one, my brain shut off and I started floating. BUT THEN, then I got to do something really fun! She gave me a piece of paper with lots of symbols on them. There were two symbols to the left and six (I think) symbols to the right and I was going to see if any of those two symbols were in the row to the right. There were a few pages with these and you checked a box with yes or no at the end of the line. I didn't manage to fill out the whole thing (all these things are timed) but it was still fun. I wish I would have been able to fill out the shole thing though, I would have felt pretty cool if I had!

That's about what we had time with. My mum and dad has now filled in one of those papers with questions and sent it back to my psychologist. They're going to have a phone "metting" or what I should call it, tomorrow talking about it. My psychologist said if what my mum has to say about when I was little doesn't differ too much from how I am today, then we might be done tomorrow already. But I'm not to sure about that. I was very different when I was younger from what I am today. But we'll see. I didn't think it would go this quickly, but She did have quite a lot to go on before I came to her. My other doctors and psychologist had written about this in my journals and I believe all my writing helped a bit too!

I'm now going back tomorrow, after the phone meeting/interview is done. I have no idéa what will happen next. I don't know if I will continue to be on sick leave, if I'm going to see other people at this place or anything. I must ask that tomorrow.

Me yesterday and Mew sleeping a few days ago.


  1. Dear Angelica, I really love how you speak publicly about your illness and I really enjoy reading your posts. I suffer from a mental illness myself and you and your blog have helped me to accept my illness even more then I already did. Thank you for existing and keep the good work! :)

  2. So happy for you!:) Glad you did`t have to wait 6 month!:) I like reading how youre investigation went. Im staring on mone next week, and my father are coming to. It freaks me out that i don`t know what to espect. But youre blog post make me feel better!:)

  3. Låter som en början iaf. Måste kännas lite skönt för kroppen att veta att man har börjat med något? Så kände jag efter ett tag med terapi, kroppen bara skrek "äntligen!!" Hoppas du får bra information på mötet efter telefonsamtalet mellan dina föräldrar och psykologen.
    Skickar massa positiv energi <3

  4. Hej Angelica! Jag blir så glad av dig! Jag brukar titta in på din blogg då och då och såg nu att du är under utredning, precis som jag är. Jag har hittills haft ett utredningsmöte med psykolog för att se om jag har diagnos på autism spektrumet. Innan detta har jag sökt hjälp jättelänge för depression. Du anar inte hur mycket jag känner igen mig i just de orden du använder för att beskriva ditt liv och dina problem och rädslor. För mig är det VÄLDIGT fint att det finns iaf en människa som känner som jag gör. Jag är också sjukskriven från mitt jobb, mitt väldigt sociala jobb, som därför är väldigt fel för mig. Jag måste ändra mitt liv, men orka.. ;) jag tror inte heller på mig själv. Jag är rädd för att få diagnosen Asperger (får jag en diagnos är det denna), men mer rädd för att inte få diagnos, för det skulle innebära att jag gjort mig själv sjuk i huvudet. Jag har alltid känt mig fel men på sista tiden känns det som om det inte går att må bättre. Tiden går och jag står stilla. Jag hoppas att jag inte låter allt för tokig :) I vilket fall som helst är jag glad att du skriver. Du är himla klok trots rädslor. Ta väl hand om dig! Många kramar

  5. Have you cut off your dreads? If yo, this short hair cut looks amazing on you, too! :)